SIGN IN A SMALL TEXAS TOWN
"BULLS FOR SALE,
DEAD OR ALIVE!"
DEAD OR ALIVE!"
* * *
AT A SOUTHERN UNIVERSITY!
Students in a psychology class at a southern university were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"In order to establish some parameters," the professor asked a student from Alabama, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," replied the student."
"And what is the opposite of depression?", the professor asked a young lady from Mississippi." "Elation," she answered."
And you, young man," he said to a student from Texas. "What about the opposite of woe?"
"Well, sir," the student from Texas said, "I believe that'd be 'giddy-up.'"
* * *
AT A SOUTHERN UNIVERSITY!
Students in a psychology class at a southern university were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"In order to establish some parameters," the professor asked a student from Alabama, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," replied the student."
"And what is the opposite of depression?", the professor asked a young lady from Mississippi." "Elation," she answered."
And you, young man," he said to a student from Texas. "What about the opposite of woe?"
"Well, sir," the student from Texas said, "I believe that'd be 'giddy-up.'"
* * *
DEER HUNTING!
A group of Texas friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?" the others asked."Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied."You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired of him."A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!
A group of Texas friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?" the others asked."Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied."You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired of him."A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!
* * *
NEWS FLASH!
Bryan, Texas-----Texas's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in College Station. Aggie search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
NEWS FLASH!
Bryan, Texas-----Texas's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in College Station. Aggie search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
* * *
TEXAS MAGIC!
A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls? The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do.""I got one too... see?" the Texan says."Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice.""You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan. "Why, actually, yes, I do.""I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan. The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?" The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?""Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car.About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates.. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen. The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?""Check this out...I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."The Texan exclaims, "DAMN! YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?"
TEXAS MAGIC!
A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls? The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do.""I got one too... see?" the Texan says."Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice.""You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan. "Why, actually, yes, I do.""I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan. The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?" The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?""Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car.About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates.. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen. The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?""Check this out...I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."The Texan exclaims, "DAMN! YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?"
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